JIBE: how to...
It's like the last post said - reading it really isn't going to do much - you need to go out and do it. Sorry to hear about the wife and kiddies, but if you are asking how to tack and jibe - I would say it's best not to have the wife and kiddies onboard until you can do those things.
More people on board... especially wife (clueless also?) and kids... Along for the ride and likely don't know they have to scramble from time to time... isn't going to make things easy. One of them maybe okay, but wife+kiddies sounds like trouble unless it's very light breeze. I'd recommend you go out by yourself so you don't have the added stress of commanding unsuspecting riders and in the quite, you'll gain the experience you need.
Someone said all summer to tack? That seems excessive, I was tacking and jibeing my first time out. (albeit - many tacks unsuccessful that then resulted in emergency jibes so as not to hit something. In stonger winds - both are harder to perform. Go out by yourself (if you don't have an experienced friend to bring) during decent winds. (10-15) and get the feel. Think about where the wind is coming from (most always) and what it's doing to you with respect to your sail angles and shapes.
You'll learn from experience... like I learned when I jibe, I want to keep my main sail traveler locked down pretty snug and near center... maybe no more than 20" either way of center. Especially in stronger winds, because I don't want the dangerous boom snap taking place. If I must- then I put my hand on the boom and help it change sides. I really don't like it when it has to go from one end of the traveler track to the other in big winds with a BANG - (I also fear a shroud or something else could break.) I jibe very little, especially in mid to higih winds. Tacking is easier (For me) maybe because I do it far more... Less stressful and less dangerous. There isn't anything better than actual experience. You can ask for tips/tricks after you've got the hang of it, but just reading text - isn't going to really be of much help until you start to do it.
LOCK the jib - use it to push your bow around in the turn, KEEP YOUR HAND on the tiller so as not to allow it to come out of the turn prematurely. As I mentioned before - if practicing. It would be best to move your jib traveler cars out to the far sides (ends of the forward rail) This will give you maximum angle on the jib to the wind which will help rotate the bow through the turn.
Releasing the jib tension before you're through the turn will most always result in a failed tack. In big wind, we once tried sailing with no jib. Thinking - less sail - less dangerous while we were learning. I quickly found that I couldn't tack at all without a jib. At least not at those early stages of learning my 16. (2 years ago) I now have THREE 16's!
Myself - (I'm sure it can be done) but I don't feel that a 16 is a wife and kiddies kind of boat. I don't even dare bring my dog. (well I did once). A wife, or a kid - is fine, but the family? Not in the winds I like to sail in.
